30 pearls of wisdom bestowed upon me in the past 30 years

-lisa, cas, jozeygirl-

30 pearls of wisdom bestowed upon me in the past 30 years:

you are not supposed to get back into the bath after your mother has dressed you for church…

a baby at 3 months doesn’t like peanuts, no matter how many you try and shove down his throat

gum does not make a good conditioner for hair

YOU CAN’T FLY!!!

Hand on a hot plate will burn… LIKE HELL!!!

Don’t trust dentists, EVER!!!!

It never hurts your mother more then it hurts you

it will hurt … A LOT!

Brown is NOT the new pink mom!!! Especially not at the spring day beauty pageant

you can’t go down a flight of stairs with your bike

there aren’t lots of fish in the sea

if you get the feeling that something’s to good to be true, it usually is

slippers go with everything

chocolate DOES NOT cause pimples

always listen to your bladder, it’s the one body part that will turn on you in a second

black hair dye won’t wash out after 8 washes

if you can’t… fake it!!!

bull$~!£ baffles brains

smile and the world smiles with you, cry and they laugh at you

you can do anything you put your mind to it… except flying

sometimes its better to just jump in

it’s easier for a women to run with a skirt hitched above her hips then it is for a man to run with is pants down around his ankles

C.P.R

the words to Gloria Gaynor’s I will survive

1973 VW Beetles can NOT ride on just 2 wheels. No matter what you saw on Hurby Drives again

the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason

cold cucumber soap sucks ass

Chocolate will always make you feel better…

…shopping won’t…

life is NOT fair!!! to everyone at some stage