to love and to have lost is better then to never have loved befor.

… I guess your love will never be mine...

Feeling very alone again tonight. I wish I knew what was in store for me love wise. If I wasn’t meant to be married, why do I have such a longing to find someone? We weren’t created to be alone. Life is meant to be shared. God intends for us to experience life together. So why at 30 am I still single and living with my parents?

...and I guess your heart I’ll never find…

I remember, I use to say, “When I grow up I’m gonna…” and “one day I’ll…” you know what I am grownup and one day has come and still I’m not. Most of the time I manage not to think about it. I keep busy with other stuff. Pretend as if I’m to busy to care. That’s not true. This women that works with Momzy, we always joked and said we hope we don’t end up like her… she’s in her 40’s still single and lives at home. Only difference is. She lives at home alone now. Her mother died two year ago and her father last year… what if this isn’t a joke, what if I end up like that.

…From a distance my love, I’ll have to release…


I use to work with a lesbian girl, we were great friends. She’d always ask me out even though she knew I wasn’t gay. She was Joking. I told her that if, by the time I’m 30, single and still live at home I’d give her a call or shoot myself. Not joking anymore.

…And I’d have to look elsewhere for inner peace…


Last year I attended a funeral and at tea after I was sitting chatting to a group of ladies, out of the blue the one asked me, when it was my chance? My chance? For what, dying? I asked. No, she said, for getting married. AT A FUNERAL!!!! For goodness sake! I DON’T KNOW LADY!!!! Now when people ask me I say 25 September. That’s only 4 months away.

… Thus I guess you’d never understand…

That’s something I get asked a lot, so, when are you getting married, so, when are you going to meet that guy. So, why are you still single? 1. I’M NOT PSYCIC AND 2. IF I KNEW WHY I WOULD HAVE WORKED ON THAT AND NOT BE SINGLE ANYMORE!!!! Bridget Jones puts it classically. When someone asked her why she was single, she plainly said, well it doesn’t help that we singletons are covered in scales.

… Nor comprehend...

I had this friend when I was at school, loved him to bits. But we were just friends. The last conversation we had was a fight. He transferred to another school the next year. And that was that… I thought. Last year he found me on facebook… I was thrilled; till I found out he was married. An Alanis Morisette song comes to mind. One night in a bit of a drunken stupor he started texting me, telling me how he always had a crush on me and how he’d been searching for me… still married!

... Nor see the plan…

I’m hopeless, I tend to fall for all the wrong guys, by wrong I mean, gay, married or to young. Just after I moved back home I met this policeman, it went great, only thing is, I wasn’t the only one, he had not one but two girls in different towns. Charming, he even tried to hook me up with one of his friends and tried to pickup my friend while I was there. I should have gotten the message, we broke up and 7 months later he was married, not to me and not to any of the other two. A few months later he was killed in the line of duty. The guy he tried to set me up with died a year later in a car accident.

…’cause I guess our love is mine alone…

There’s this guy at church I really like, when he found out I was 10 years older then him, he started dating my friend. They’ve just broken up. But I’m still 10 years older and even if we joke about it, Momzy and the rest of the sane people are right. Will never work. I also have this thing against people in the youth group dating.I never go anywhere so I never meet people, tried the internet dating thing, don’t work ether, a lot of freaks out there though. So here I am, 30 single and still living with my parents, what would you do if you were in my shoes?

…poured out like fresh spring water on an old dry stone…